a funny thing when i was a freshman in our university,one day,our new teacher want us to say sth about yourself then ,a student standed up, and said “i come from shandong ,and i want to learn more when im in university,and hope good ,good study ,day ,day up.then our teacher said it is chinese english, good,good study ,day day up is wrong sentence,then our teacher said there are so many people even said “i will give you color see see”,how funny it is!!
One remarked to the other, “Windy, ain‘t it?”
“No,” the second man replied, “It‘s Thursday.”
OLD pRINTERS never die, they‘re just not the type
OLD pROGRAMMERS never die, they just byte it
OLD pROGRAMMERS never die, they just decompile
OLD pROGRAMMERS never die, they just get bugged with life
OLD pROGRAMMERS never die, they just go to bits
OLD pROGRAMMERS never die, they just lose their memory
OLD pROGRAMMERS never die, they just move to new addresses
OLD pROGRAMMING WIZARDS never die, they just recurse
OLD pROpANE TANKS never die, they just run out of gas
OLD pROSITUTES never die, they just fake away…
OLD pUNTERS never die, they just go horse
OLD QUARTERBACKS never die, they just fade back and pass away
OLD QUILTERS never die, they just go to pieces
“Are you sure we can cross the river safely?” he asked.
“Of course,” answered the boatman. The boat left the bank.
“Has anyone ever been lost here before?” the anxious traveler asked again.
It was so far out, there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5-year-old child. The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see, while he helped the woman deliver the baby.
The child did so, the mother pushed and after a little while, the doctor lifted the newborn baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath.
The doctor then asked the 5-year-old what he thought of the baby.
She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say.
“My little sister sleeps on the bottom bunk of our bunk bed and I do not want her to know what we are doing, so when I say `baloney` it means push harder, and when I say `pastrami` it means push slower.”
With this the two get onto the top bunk and have sex. First, the girl moans, “baloney,baloney,baloney” then shouts “pastrami,pastrami,pastrami” and then back to “baloney,baloney,baloney”
A SWEET POEM A SWEET POEM It means that… You”re a hopeless romantic, a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the written word. OR You”re used to cheap gifts and like to pass yourself off as a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the written word.
When the mother came out of her coma to find she had given birth and that her brother had named the twins, she became very worried, because he wasn‘t a very bright guy. She was sure he had named them something absurd or stupid.
When she saw her brother she asked him about the twins.
He said, “The first one was a girl.”
The mother: “What did you name her?!?”
Brother: “Denise!”
The Mom: “Oh, wow, that‘s not bad! What about the second one?”
Brother: “The second one was a boy.”
The Mom: “Oh, and what did you name him?”
“Just snow,” replied the stewardess.
