one line jokes

A blonde went to a flight school insisting that she wanted to learn to fly. As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her by radio on how to pilot the solo helicopter. He took her out, showed her how to start it and gave her the basics, and sent her on her way.

After she climbed 1000 feet, she radioed in. I’m doing great! I love it! The view is so beautiful, and I’m starting to get the hang of this.

After 2000 feet, she radioed again, saying how easy it was to fly. The instructor watched her climb over 3000 feet, and was beginning to worry that she hadn’t radioed in.

A few minutes later, he watched in horror as she crashed about half a mile away. He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage.

When he asked what happened, she said, I don’t know! Everything was going fine, but as I got higher, I was starting to get cold. I can barely remember anything after I turned off the big fan!

Sue and Bob, a pair of tight wads, lived in the mid west, and had been married years.

Bob had always want to go flying. The desire deepen each time a barn stormer flew into town to offer rides.

Bob would ask, and Sue would say, No way, ten dollars is ten dollars.

The years went pay, and Bob figured he didn’t have much longer, so he got Sue out to the show, explaining, it’s free to watch, let’s at least watch.

And once he got there the feeling become real strong. Sue and Bob started an arguement.

The Pilot, between flights, overheard, listened to they problem, and said, I’ll tell you what, I’ll take you up flying, and if you don’t say a word the ride is on me, but if you back one sound, you pay ten dollars.

So off they flew. The Pilot doing as many rolls, and dives as he could.

Heading to the ground as fast as the plane could go, and pulling out of the dive at just the very last second. Not a word. Finally he admited defeat and went back the air port.

I’m surprised, why didn’t you say anything?

Well I almost said something when Sue fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars.

Recently, the Psychic Hotline and Psychic Friends Network have launched hotlines for frogs. Here is the story of one frog and his discussing with his psychic.

A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.

The frog says, This is great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?

No, says the psychic. Next semester in her biology class.

Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. In the last 15 races, I’ve won 8 of them!

Another horse breaks in, Well in the last 27 races, I’ve won 19!!

Oh that’s good, but in the last 36 races, I’ve won 28!, says another, flicking his tail.

At this point, they notice that a greyhound dog has been sitting there listening. I don’t mean to boast, says the greyhound,but in my last 90 races, I’ve won 88 of them!

The horses are clearly amazed. Wow! says one, after a hushed silence. A talking dog.

After many years of marriage, a husband has turned into a couch potato, became completely inattentive to his wife and sat guzzling beer and watching TV all day. The wife was dismayed because no matter what she did to attract the husband’s attention, he’d just shrug her off with some bored comment.

This went on for many months and the wife was going crazy with boredom. Then one day at a pet store, the wife saw this big, ugly, snorting bird with a hairy chest, powerful hairy forearms, beady eyes and dribble running down the side of its mouth.

The shopkeeper, observing her fascination with the bird, told her it was a special imported Goony bird and it had a very peculiar trait. To demonstrate, he exclaimed, Goony bird! The table!

Immediately, the Goony bird flew off its perch and with single-minded fury attacked the table and smashed it into a hundred little pieces with its powerful forearms and claws! To demonstrate some more, the shopkeeper said, Goony bird! The shelf!

Again the Goony bird turned to the shelf and demolished it in seconds.

Wow! said the wife, If this doesn’t attract my husband’s attention, nothing will! So she bought the bird and took it home.

When she entered the house, the husband was, as usual, sprawled on the sofa guzzling beer and watching the game. Honey! she exclaimed, I’ve got a surprise for you! A Goony bird!

The husband, in his usual bored tone replied, Goony Bird, my foot!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To show the armadillo that it was possible.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get away from Colonel Sanders!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road twice?
A: Because it was a double-crosser.

Q: Why did the Iraqi chicken cross the road?
A: To take over the other side.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A: To get to the other slide.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the beach?
A: To get to the other tide.

Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A: Chickens hadn’t evolved yet.

欢迎使用 WordPress。这是系统自动生成的演示文章。编辑或者删除它，开始您的博客！