Not a dancer A lady went to a pet shop to buy a parakeet. She asked the clerk for a bird that could sing. The man sold her a parakeet, and she took it home. There, she examined the bird and found out it had a broken leg. She returned to the store with the bird and told the clerk that the bird had a broken leg. “Lady,” he answered, “when you brought the bird, you asked for a singer, not a dancer.”
OLD FOOTBALLERS never die, they just kick the bucket
OLD FORESTERS never die, they just pine away
OLD FRIDGE REpAIRMEN never die, they just blow their cool
OLD FROGS never die, they just croak
OLD FRUIT never die, it just pear-ishes
OLD GARAGEMEN never die, they just retire
OLD GEOLOGISTS never die, they just recrystalize
OLD GHOST TOWNS never die, they become desolate
OLD GOLFERS never die, they just lose their drive
OLD GRApHIC ARTISTS never die, they just de-rez
OLD GYMNASTS never die, they just take longer to mount
OLD HAMS never die, they just get grounded
OLD HARDWARE ENGINEERS never die, they just cache in their chips
A: He was declared to be in Seine.
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Fred was saying his prayers as his father passed by his bedroom door. “God bless Mommy, and God bless Daddy, and please make Calais the capital of France.” “Fred,” said his father, “why do you want Calais to be the capital of France?” “Because that‘s what I wrote in my geography test!”
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What is the Guillotine?
A French chopping centre.
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Which ghost was president of France?
Charles de Ghoul.
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First witch: I‘m going to France tomorrow.
Second witch: Are you going by broom?
Patient: Only the druggist down at the corner.
Doctor: And what sort of ridiculous advice did he gave you?
Patient: He told me to see you!
“How am I doing?” he asked the coach at the end of the round.
“Well, if you keep this up,” replied the coach, “he might feel the wind and catch a cold.”
Tom: Men.
Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?
OLD CRICKETERS never die, they just get bowled over
OLD CRICKETERS never die, they just get smashed for six
OLD DANCERS never die, they just step away
OLD DAREDEVILS never die, they just get discouraged
OLD DEANS never die, they just lose their faculties
OLD DENTISTS never die, they just lose their pull
OLD DIETERS never die, they just waist away
OLD DIVERS never die, they just extend their bottom time
OLD DIVERS never die, they just flop
OLD DIVERS never die, they just get board
OLD DIVERS never die, they just lose their spring
OLD DOCTORS never die, they just lose their patience
OLD EDITORS do it with a red pen
“Do you have ‘Eyes of Blue‘ and ‘A Love Supreme‘?” she asked.
“Well, no,” answered the puzzled homeowner. “But I have a wife and eleven children.”
“Is that a record?” she inquired.
OLD CARS never die, they just get run into the ground
OLD CASHIERS never die, they just check out
OLD CHAUFFEURS never die, they just lose their drive
OLD CHEMISTS never die, they just do it inorganically
OLD CHEMISTS never die, they just fail to react
OLD CHEMISTS never die, they just lose their refluxes
OLD CHEMISTS never die, they just reach equilibrium
OLD CHEMISTS never die, they just smell that way
OLD CLEANING pEOpLE never die, they just kick the bucket
OLD COMpOSERS never die, they just decompose
OLD COMpUTER pEOpLE never die, they just lose their memory
OLD COMpUTER pROGRAMMERS never die, they just byte the dust
OLD COOKS never die, they just get deranged
OLD BEEKEEpERS never die, they just buzz off
OLD BIKERS never die, but they‘re hard on tires
OLD BIOLOGISTS never die, they just ferment away
OLD BLONDES never fade, they just dye away
OLD BOOKKEEpERS never die, they just lose their figures
OLD BOOKS never die, they just go out-of-print
OLD BOWLERS never die, they just end up in the gutter
OLD brAKES never die, they just grind down
OLD brIDGE pLAYERS never die, they just lose their finesse
OLD brIDGE pLAYERS never die, they just sit around on their fat aces
OLD BUDGETS never die, they are fillibustered
OLD BUREAUCRATS never die, they just waste away
OLD BURGLARS never die, they just steal away
