it was overdue
it was overdue your funny story was too overdue. i used to hear about it when i was just a middle school student. have you ever heard about this sentence: ” we brother who and who”?
Recently seen
Outside: We dont feel sorry for you blowing all those candles, what about us…
Grocery shopping
He passed the Mother again in the candy aisle. Of course, the little girl began to shout for candy. When she was told she couldn‘t have any, she began to cry. The mother said, “There, there, Ellen, don‘t cry. Only two more aisles to go, and then we‘ll be checking out.”
The man again happened to be behind the pair at the check-out, where the little girl immediately began to clamor for gum and burst into a terrible tantrum upon discovering there would be no gum purchased today. The mother patiently said, “Ellen, we‘ll be through this check out stand in five minutes, and then you can go home and have a nice nap.”
The man followed them out to the parking lot and stopped the woman to compliment her. “I couldn‘t help noticing how patient you were with little Ellen…”
Bathroom troubles
The second old man says, “You think you have problems. I‘m eighty years old. Every morning at 8:00 I get up and try to move my bowels. I try all day long. They give me all kinds of stuff but nothing helps.”
Essay
Essay Teacher had set his class an essay in “A Game of Cricket”. After two minutes Simon Steel handed his paper in and was allowed to go home. His essay read: “Rain stopped play.”
Never talk to the parrot
Well, sure enough the dog, Killer, totally ignored the repairman, but the whole time he was there, the parrot cursed, yelled, screamed, and about drove him nuts.
As he was ready to leave, he couldn‘t resist saying, “You stupid bird, why don‘t you shut up!”
A cat’s dictionary
purrverse: poem about a strange kitty.
purranoia: The fear that your cat is up to something.
Human being: Automatic door opener for cats.
purrpetual:Everlasting love for domesticated felines.
purrson: A male kitty.
How old are you?
“I couldn‘t help noticing how happy you look,” she said. “What‘s your secret for a long happy life?”
“I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day,” he said. “I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise.”
“That‘s amazing,” the woman said. “How old are you?‘
a man and E.T.
a man and E.T. What is the difference between a man and E.T.? E.T. phoned home
Worries about mad cow disease
The first cow said, “I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary.They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm.”
